Haha... o.O... The dangers of breathplay

      We were in his office. Maybe it's because I had been holding my breath without realizing it, before it started? He tipped my head back, his hand closing over my neck. There was pressure and then...

      End result? I opened my eyes, lying on the floor.
      What crazy sensations! There's usually warning! A fuzzy feeling that rises in the back of my head, that white-hot flash that explodes behind my eyes. It hit all at once. I remember stumbling backwards, pushing away from him, thinking, 'Fuck! The cat! Where--?' But control snapped and I fell to my knees, then onto my side. There was nausea when I forced my eyes open. I was conscious enough to feel my shoulder hitting the carpet. Panic, disorientation- knowing I had to be careful of my glasses. Ingrained behavior, huh?

      Wow... Fainting. Swooning. Now I know what it feels like. I'll have to be careful and help my Master prevent that next time. If its possible. I'm not sure anymore. It used to be. He's held me in that position before without me passing out almost... instantaneously.      

      I spoke before my lungs fully filled. "What happened--?"
      I did black out, but I don't think it was for more than a few seconds. The throbbing ache in my knees still felt fresh. He hadn't had a chance to move. I started laughing, realizing how ridiculous I looked.
      His stern, serious voice... "Why did you--?!"
      But then he paused, looking at me as I stared at him. His reflexes are quick. If I hadn't pushed myself so far away from him...
     "If that happens again, do not ever push backwards against me like that." And then the cold, hardness in his eyes burned with amusement. His lips twitched as he crossed his arms. "I'll catch you, so long as you don't launch yourself across the room."
     "Yes, Master," I whispered, staring down at the floor.
     "Are you okay?"
     "I am, Master. Thank you."
     I watched as he went to sit in his computer chair. Breath-play can be dangerous, yes. What happened scared me, but not enough to have me ask if we shouldn't do that anymore. That would be sad. And up to him.
      Kneeling, I focused through the fuzziness in my head. I crawled over to his chair, wanting to thank him and apologize at the same time. He stared at me for several long moments before he undid his pants. I really love that sound.
      'Thank you, Master,' I took his cock deep into my mouth and relaxed. Push endurance level, breathe through minor discomfort, and be a good slave? I lost myself in the way he tasted, how the hard line of his shaft felt moving back and forth along my lips. I took him as far down my throat as I could wanting to thank him again.
      "Tired, baby?" he asked, breaking me out of the hazy mind-frame.
      ... tired? I shook my head, looking up at him. Too slow, apparently. I quickened the pace, a short flash of worry when he had me stop. "I'm sorry, Master, I-"
      "Don't be. Lay down."
      He had me lay flat on the floor. I wrapped my arms around him when he settled over me. He brushed my hair out of the way, kissing my neck, nudging my legs apart. Soft submission took over as I laid underneath him.
      'Thank you, Master!' I moaned when his cock slowly thrust inside of me.
      Sunlight streamed in through the windows. The carpet was warm where I was laying, burning my hips and lower back, my shoulders when I rocked my hips back. I arched my back to try and take him deeper. Harder. I loved having him pin me down, kissing me while he continued to move his body against mine. Bringing my knees in closer to his waist, I stretched my arms above my head.... the slow, sweet burn, my skin scraping red and raw as I reached the edge.

About Breathplay-- (sans tangent)

      We barely stopped it from happening the second time. It happened when I tilted my head back, standing in front of him, his hand covering my neck. The rush was staggering. Instead of pushing back into the coffee table, the glass shelves... I moved into him and felt his arm already securely around my waist. He helped me turn around so I could wrap my arms around his neck and focus on not passing out. Success, mostly! Thrilling, exhilarating laughter again. He looked down at me, seeming as though he was torn between laughter and wanting to strangle me.
      "Are you mad, Master?" I asked, studying his expression.
      Stern again, though I love that his tone doesn't always match his eyes. So much warmth when punishment isn't warranted...
     "No, baby. I'm not 'mad.'' Whatever else he said was lost as he helped me sit down onto the couch.
    
It scares me a little, how okay I am with that fact that I could pass out and be out... But not really. He is my Master.

      I almost reached 'that' layer of subspace with him. Where I'm completely disoriented, only capable of short sentences... It's happened twice with him. Once in the beginning, I really didn't have any chance of stopping it. I really liked him as a person, and then to have him deliver such incredible pain, done well and the way I'd hoped... I still think it's because he was trying to make me safe-word.
      Then it happened through punishment, the last time I was there. The dark cloud rose and descended over my mind. I surfaced, blinking up at him, shocked that it had happened so completely. Moving takes so much energy, my body feels suffused with heat, burning and tingling. I hear tones, not words. His energy is everywhere, making me feel high and mist-minded. There's no anger, only quiet determination and submission, and the throbbing of could-be bruises and marks deepening under my skin.
 
      Such strange territory for me. When I knew I'd give my Dominant whatever I could, back when I was searching... I never expected to be this vulnerable. To want it, even. I'm not sure what it means.
      How do I take pain, really? Does he want anything else?
     Damnit. And now I'm out of cigarettes. Coffee, too.
     Next I get to write about knives. ^_^